When you run, you hock loogies. I don’t know why. There’s just all this mucus and it needs to go somewhere. Polite runners aim for the harmless patches of grass.
Last week, I missed the snow-covered grass and accidentally hit a lamppost. Ew.
This week, seven days later, I ran past the lamppost again… and my loogie is still frozen to it.
EW EW EW. I sincerely apologize, New York, that’s fuckin’ disgusting.